WARNING…I will probably tick off a lot of people with this post.
If you are a dyed-in-the-wool “Obama-zombie”, or a delusional “Romney will fix it all” dreamer…best not even read this one. But if you can set your personal political opinions aside for a few minutes, you’ll get a good lesson in success (and see why I think ALL politicians suck).
So, if you are still reading you’ve got your head on straight, but probably still have been subjected to relentless political coverage for the last year or so…and its only getting worse.
The one thing that drive me bonkers in all of this…more than anything else…is the blame game.
For more than 4 years, we’ve heard Obama blame Bush for everything wrong in the world.
And if he’s not blaming Bush, he’s blaming ATM’s, kiosks at airports, BP, the Arab Spring, Congress, and so many more.
Not once have I heard him say, “I’m the man in charge, and its my my fault.”
Now before I get blasted by liberals for being one-sided, the Republicans have been no different.
I haven’t heard any members of Congress state that the lack of progress was their fault.
Romney (and all the Republicans) has done very little so far but blame Obama for everything (we can only hope that if elected this doesn’t continue for the next 4 years).
This is exactly why things are so screwed up right now…and will continue to be, until “our leaders” learn to man-up (or woman-up…as the situation calls for) and say the 3 powerful words I’m going to share today.
These 3 words are the source of all the personal power you will ever need.
These 3 words will free you from everything that has ever held you back.
These 3 words are: “Its my fault.”
Yes, it’s that simple.
When you take responsibility, it shifts how you see yourself. You move from being a bystander to being an influential participant..in everything.
In contrast, someone who doesn’t take responsibility ends up reinforcing their own passivity, leaving themselves at the mercy of others. That’s an incredibly weakening position to be in that affects how you view yourself, and this view ends up manifesting itself in how others see you.
Here are 4 reasons to say always say, “Its my fault”:
1. Taking responsibility makes action possible.
People that take responsibility move from being impotent to being influential. People that see themselves as influential assume that it is possible to move into a bad situation and change it. In contrast, people who believe themselves to be impotent have no reason to even try to make a difference.
2. Taking responsibility sets the expectation, within yourself, that action is forthcoming.
Accepting responsibility for a negative outcome can lead to increased commitment to do better, because saying you’re wrong sets up a tension to be right the next time.
Have you ever heard someone say they’re sorry without suggesting that they’ll try harder or do something different the next time?
3. Taking responsibility leads you to take a new look at the bad situation, and to understand what and how you can do to fix the situation.
By taking responsibility for your part in creating a bad situation, you show that you have recognized that its earlier actions have somehow contributed to the negative result. Your next step is to understand what you did and what you could have done but chose not to do. Being able to see both the road taken and the roads not taken gives you a bigger picture of what actions were possible.
4. Taking responsibility makes it possible for you to learn and creates the possibility that your you will get it right the next time.
Once you accept that other actions were possible and that these other actions might have made a more positive contribution, you can analyze and understand why you chose the path you did. This builds your capacity for self-reflection and self-understanding. This capacity for self-reflection allows you to investigate the relationship between your actions, intent, and the actual outcome.
It’s hard to change your thinking to this method at first…but if you honestly evaluate everything in your adult life (there are things you can’t control as children), you will agree that everything is your fault (good or bad).
For example, a programmer ripped me and Tim off earlier this year for a nice chunk of money. Never delivered our product, and even sold what he did build for us to other marketers (after we paid him upfront).
Now you would think that Tim and would have fought about whose fault this was (Tim brought me into this project BUT I was the one who agreed to pay the programmer upfront after telling me his financial woes).
But the exact opposite happened…we argued that “this is all my fault bro…“.
We fought to TAKE THE BLAME.
I saw this again on Friday while out wake boarding with 2 other successful internet marketers. These 2 guys had a little miscommunication while trying something new on the water, and they both fought for a few minutes about it…they also FOUGHT TO TAKE THE BLAME.
This is a trait you will notice in successful people, and find vacant in unhappy/unsuccessful.
But the good thing is…this attitude is a conscious choice. You can start it right now.
Once you realize that you are 100% in control of everything that happens to you, its like you’re Neo in the Matrix and you realize have the ability to control almost everything. And that’s when you really start to get what you want from life.
Maybe its a little narcissistic, but it works.
Next time you are in an argument with someone, or start to get angry about a bad thing happening to you…stop and say out loud…’This is all my fault.’
..and you will instantly see what you could have done to prevent the situation. Plus it freak out your spouse/kids/coworker/etc. 
Then move on.
Don’t be Obama/Romney and every politician in the world and play their “Blame Game”.
Take the red pill…be Neo and control everything around you.
FANTASTIC post Brian! So nice to see someone advocating responsibility and maturity!
Thanks Colleen!
Now only if more people would get it. Their lives would be better instead of sitting and waiting for government or politicians to change their lives. Get up off your ass and start changing things your self!
Right on Ralph! Dialed in…
That was a good read, Brian; and I agree with you. As Collen says above, “it nice to see someone advocating responsibility and maturity.”
Its tough sometimes (especially with the wife
) …but it really does give you all the power.
Well said Bro.
We need to take responsability for every thing we do.
Cheers
Winchel
Thanks my man!
This is so right on. Until we all except responsibility for our choices, actions and lives…we have no power to make change. A great post that should be read by every citizen on this planet…
You can forget how much control you have over everything in your life…
Nice post…..but I can’t shake the memory of the film “Network” from my head..
You’ll have all the internet marketers in the world leaning out of their windows shouting “It’s my fault!”
Mind you, the original phrase of “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more” feels just as appropriate at times
Martin
LOL
Probably is about time for a wave of “its all my fault” marketing now. I can totally see that.
As you say politician in the world play their “Blame Game”.
and the media lap it up, whinging makes the headlines
whinge (hw nj, w nj). intr.v. whinged, whing·ing, whing·es Chiefly British. To complain or protest, especially in an annoying or persistent manner.
If it’s going to be it is up to me…..
Peter
I would totally respect the politician that finally gets up and takes blame for ANYTHING.
Good post Brian, this is one of my big pet peeves with some marketers who use the “It’s not your fault!” line in their Problem-Agitate-Solve pitches as an attempt to get on the same side as their prospect, hits me wrong every time.
As soon as you say “It’s my fault” the only sane and logical next step is a step towards making a positive change in your life.
Fred
The reason that works is that the people that are unsuccessful have the “blame everyone else” mentality.
…and I can assume that you are successful by how you think.
Wish more people could get on board with this…
I once sat in front of a judge for something I did not do. I was told over and over all I needed to do was say, “Yes, it was my fault” and all would be cool…….yes, for them!
I see your point. Both sides need to man-up and be responsible for what they do. And its not anything in particular. All the finger pointing is a big waste of time for all of us. Its just working together for a common good, for all, regardless of who is to blame for ANYTHING!
And you are right…both sides are to blame for this. And we let politics go on like this far too long!
Its all out fault!
SOLID!!
from1perspective, Brian, you are bringing a negative and limiting twist to an old standard. “It’s my fault” presumes a fault. Sometimes old standards are good; while the wheel might be improved, it doesn’t need to be re-invented.
Using the same process with “I am responsible” may leave a little more room for success as well as “fault”.
Political junkies might enjoy seeing how some of that can be employed in a non-partisan effort to make things better through action and empowerment — no money and nothing for sale, no email — in the blog and “Hierarchy of Law” at my [wifes'] site.
Great Post Bryan
Taking responsibility is a long gone trait
Blaming others is the easy way out.
Tied to this or more important is the other 3 word power statement.
I AM SORRY
these 2 go hand in hand…if you man up when you screw up than you can genuinely say
I am Sorry.
When you do both of these and mean it, new doors just seem to open and relationships improve
Don
Good addition!
This is great when it comes to business transaction and interactions with others on personal level and making decisions together when pursuing a goal.
I think this is absolutely the way to go and keep moving ahead. I just wanted to emphasize your point that any energy spent on being critical is wasted and lost energy and does not get you closer to your solution.
How liberating it is to give thanks and move on. What have you done? You have gained a better friend, strengthened your character and taken what could have been a show stopper to now a catalyst to move ahead with a new vigor. Damn I am going to do this. It is such a good idea that someone thinks they are going to rip me off and profit from it. Never gonna happen as they only had part of the story, but I got the whole book.
Right on Doug!
This is great,
Standing up & putting it out there…I’s funny…I thought when you GROW-UP, being an adult..you take responsibility for your actions…
Guess I was wrong!..
The only way to lead is to take responsibility whether it’s your fault or not. By assuming the mantle of responsibility you don the cloak of solution.
40 years in business and you know what Brian… You’re right!
Frank
Not only that, but when you say “it’s my fault” to your spouse, a heck of a lot of fights can be avoided!
It sure does!
…and leaves her speechless the first time you do it.
Awesome post, I have tried telling this to people before and have never really been able to verbalise it. Gonna send this to a few peeps
My thoughts exactly good post people that don’t think like this don’t reflect on what effect their actions are having on their path and personal growth like most people look at things from 1 perspective when there are always multiples example if we see 2 objects of similar height and size from a distance thinking from 1 perspective you would say they are the same height and size but as you get closer you notice that one is much larger and much further away I hope that makes sense to someone.